Never Let Me Go
by AmityAlice
Summary: An Eclare story from Eli's POV. My own story with a few scenes from the show!
1. Chapter One: A Twist in My Story

I should've known I can't be happy for long; it's just the way life is. She really was the only thing that kept me smiling. Or, in my case, smirking.

And now she's gone. And I'll never get her back. All because I'm the biggest idiot in the world.

Sometimes I really hate myself. But maybe I should start from them beginning, seeing as I am getting ahead of myself here.

My name is Eli Goldsworthy. And this is my story.

Chapter One - A Twist in My Story

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me  
I'll give up all I had just to breathe  
The same air as you till the day that I die  
I can't take my eyes off of you

Ever since Morty's wheels crunched over Clare Edwards's glasses, I've had this feeling in me. It's a feeling of butterflies when I hear her voice; when someone mentions here name. It's a feeling of ecstasy when I see her walk through the door. It's a feeling of simply enjoying being alive.

I guess you could say I'm head over heels for this girl. And when she walked into English and took her seat right in front of me, I swear I've never felt so happy. She was beautiful, inside and out. I don't think I had ever wanted something so bad in my entire life.

Listen to me ramble. Don't worry; I'm getting to the point here.

I couldn't help but smirk when Clare was announced as my English partner. Today was just going my way. Which is odd, considering I have the worst luck in the world, and will make wooing Clare Edwards very difficult.

But trust me: it will get done.

When the bell rang, I followed her to her locker.

"So, English partners, huh?" I said.

She looked at me sideways with a sort of shy half smile. "It looks like it. You're going to have to help me get rid of my C." She blushed a little bit when she stopped. It was adorable.

"No problem. I'm an English wiz." I said, leaning against the locker next to hers.

"Really?" She asked, looking down.

"No," I said and chuckled. She blushed again, although I have no idea why. Maybe it was my amazing wit and charm. She closed her locker and backed up a bit.

"See you later?"

"Sure," I said, straightening my blazer as I stood normally. She started to walk away but I put my hand on the crook of her elbow. "Wait, do you want a ride home?" I felt stupid instantly after I asked.

"Uh, sure Eli thanks." Her big blue eyes widened in surprise and she smiled. "I'll meet you after last period."

Wow. She said yes. That was easier than I thought. "See you then." Then I released her elbow and she hurried off to her next class, cheeks pink and her head bent. I stood awestruck for a few moments, watching after her.

God, she was beautiful.

"Hey," said a voice to my right. I looked over to see Adam lugging a few textbooks. I guess you could say Adam and I are best friends; or at least, good friends. He's really the only person I'm close with.

"What was that all about?" His voice broke my Clare-trance and I shrugged.

"I'm giving her a ride home."

"Really? Way to go man," He put up his fist but I just looked at it with my jade eyes.

"I'm not one for knuckle-touching Adam," I said and smirked.

"Right," he said and dropped his fist. "See you at lunch." He smiled and gave me a wave before starting down the hall.

"See you," I called after him. I stayed where I was and leaned up against Clare's locker again. Who cares if I was late to class, it's not like it mattered. Hey, maybe I would even skip.

But for now I was content to lean against the cool metal and let the moment sink in.

I was giving Clare Edwards a ride home, the most beautiful girl at Degrassi.

Maybe this would lead to something different.

**Thanks so much for reading and I promise I will be getting more to you soon! Make sure you leave me a little review!**


	2. Chapter Two: If the Moon Fell Down

Chapter Two: If the Moon Fell Down

Every time I see your smile  
It makes my heart beat fast  
And though it's much too soon to tell  
I'm hoping this will last.

I leaned casually against Morty's door, appearing to be calm and collected. When the truth was, I was so nervous it wasn't even funny. I watched the doors to the school like a hawk, waiting for a glimpse of her red-brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. My own dark hair fell in my eyes, and I had to keep brushing it back with my trembling hands.

When she finally bounced down the steps, my breath caught in my throat. I had to swallow hard before I could breathe again.

She was smiling and there was a little spring in her step. She looked genuinely happy, and I could only hope I was the reason.

"Hi Eli,"

"Hello milady, your chariot awaits," I said in a fake accent. I gestured to Morty with one hand while keeping the other tucked in my pocket.

"Some chariot," she said, laughing. She opened the door of the hearse and slid inside. I followed suit.

"So Blue Eyes, where to?"

"What?" She looked at me with a weird expression.

"I said, where to?"

"No, what did you say before that?"

"Oh, Blue Eyes? That's your nickname," I said matter-of-factly.

She scoffed. "Do I have any say in this?" I grinned and turned the key. Morty roared to life and music played from the radio.

"No."

I pressed down on the gas and we sped off. She laughed and held onto the dash. "Eli! Slow down, we're going to get a ticket."

I flicked my hand in a _psh_ motion. "I don't get tickets." She laughed again, a tinkling sound. I would listen to her laugh all day if I could.

She stopped for a minute and put her finger on her chin. "Let's go somewhere."

That was unexpected. "Where?"

"I don't know. Surprise me!" She threw her arms up and grinned, very un-Clare. I liked that I could bring out her reckless side.

"Okay, sounds like a plan."

We were quiet for a few minutes. Clare looked out the window and let the wind toss her curls as I maneuvered along the roads.

"Let's play 20 Questions."

Clare groaned. "Real original," she said, rolling her eyes.

"C'mon I want to know more about you." I said.

"Fine, but I get to go first," she bargained, a smile on her face.

"Okay, shoot."

"Hmm…what's your favorite color?"

"Whoa, look who's original now Clare." I said, my tone light.

"Hey! It's just to start off."

"Alright, fine. It's blue, you know like the ocean." I avoided her eyes, so blue.

"Really?"

"What, I may like black, but that doesn't mean I'm obsessed with it." I'm obsessed with something else. _You._

She laughed. "Alright, your turn." I thought for a moment.

"What's your biggest fear?"

She frowned a bit, and I wanted nothing more than to see her smile again. "I'm afraid of losing people. Not just to death, but fully losing them, so that they're out of your life forever."

I wanted to hold her close and tell her she'd never lose me, that I'd always be here, but we already know that's a lie, right?

So instead I replied with something to make her smile again. "I feel the same way, although I must say, I get pretty nervous around clowns."

Just like I had predicted, she giggled a bit. Her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink when she did it. I tore my eyes away from her and kept them on the road as we reached our destination.

I slowly pulled into a parking space in front of a vast park. I smirked, reached across her and opened her door.

"Out you go."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "A park?"

"Sorry, I can't afford a fancy restaurant," I said sarcastically. Well, sort of.

She blushed. "No, I mean, it's great, really," I laughed.

"C'mon Blue Eyes," I said and stepped out of Morty.

The park was beautiful in the evening, with the sun just starting to fall behind the hills. I walked with Clare for a little bit until we reached the swings. She sat down and kicked off, whistling through the cool fall air. I sat next to her on the swing softly swung back and forth. My shoes brushed along the grass.

"So why the park?" Clare said, her face curious.

"Why not the park?" I retorted. She gave me a look of exasperation. I chuckled. "I like this park. It's peaceful." She smiled when I said it without sarcasm. She slowed down, dragging her feet across the ground. I watched her curiously as she came to stand by me.

"Let's walk some more." I stood with her and we started down the hill.

"Race?" I asked.

"You bet," she grinned and took off.

"Hey! Not fair!" I shouted after her as I ran, pumping my arms. I pulled in front of her and she laughed, running harder. She was pretty fast.

When we came close to the bottom, I was in the lead. She stumbled behind me and I caught her quickly and held her tight. She looked up at me, breathing hard, and smiled.

"It's a tie," She said, and smirked. Wonder where that one came from?

I smirked back but my face grew serious. "I like you Clare."

"I like you too Eli."

"No, I mean, I really like you. A lot," I blurted. God, did I really just say that? I put my palm to my forehead. "I'm sorry, that was too soon, I didn't mean to…" She looped her arms around my neck and leaned close.

"I really like you too Eli," she said.

So I kissed her, soft, right on the lips. She smiled into the kiss and pulled away. "Bold tonight, aren't we Blue Eyes?" I said. She swatted me playfully.

"You're cute when you think you're wrong." She said.

I grinned and circled an arm around her waist.

"So does this mean, we're like, a couple?" Clare asked, looking down. I answered her with another kiss.

She smiled and sat down on the grass, pulling me down with her by my hand. We laid down next to each other, our hands linked. I put the other behind my head and looked up at the sky. The sun had fully set and the moon watched over us.

I met Clare's deep blue eyes again and smirked. This was right where I wanted to be.

**How do you guys like it so far? Leave me some reviews!**


	3. Chapter Three: Darling

Chapter Three: Darling

Breathe in slowly now; darling don't lie to me,  
Inhale truth I plead for you're my only hope,  
Don't lie, don't leave.

After I had driven Clare home, who I could now safely call mine, I went back to my house. It's nothing special; a two-story suburban home, the average. I parked Morty in the driveway and made my way quietly up the stairs to my room. My parents had been asleep for awhile. I stepped into my room and shut the door quietly, finally home. My room is small, with a bed, a closet, a dresser, a bookshelf, and a desk. I reached for the drawers in my dresser for nightclothes.

I undressed and threw on my pajamas. My body ached from lying on the hard ground with Clare for so long. I was past exhausted so I flicked of my light and crawled into my bed. I curled up underneath of the dark bedspread. The instant I shut my eyes, I sank into sleep with dreams of Clare and big blue eyes with the moon shining over everything. The dreams were sweet, and I happily surrendered to them.

When I awoke, I could see sunlight streaming through my windows. It was early for me on a weekend, but I got up anyway seeing as I was already wide awake. My first thoughts were of Clare and I flipped open my phone to see she had already texted me.

_The Dot, 1:00?_

I smirked. How could I say no to that? I sent back a quick text agreeing and hurried to jump into the shower.

I dried off and dressed again in my usual attire: black skinny jeans, black Dead Hand t-shirt, my blazer, and black Converse. I ran a comb through my hair and grabbed some money and my phone.

I slipped through the living room and called out a goodbye. They didn't question where I was going. I went out a lot to Adam's and the Dot, and I used to go out with Ju-never mind. You see what I mean.

The ever-faithful Morty took me to the Dot, where I could see Clare through the glass, saving us a table. I went in and sat next to her in the tight booth. She smiled when she saw me.

"Eli!" She said.

"Clare!" I replied in a girlish tone. She laughed and swatted my arm. "Ouch, Blue Eyes, no need to get abusive!"

She frowned jokingly. "I am not!"

"Are too!" I said like a little kid and stuck my tongue out at her. She laughed.

"Real mature Eli," she said.

"That's me," I said, "Mr. Maturity." She rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand. I laced my fingers with hers. Her hand was soft and warm and fit perfectly with mine. She smiled and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"So what do you want to order for lunch?"

I thought for a moment. "Cake."

She laughed again, that wonderful delicate tinkling sound. "Cake is dessert Eli," she said as if I were a kid.

"Who says I can't eat it for lunch? I'm a big kid," I said with a sad frown. She immediately looked apologetic.

"I'm sorry Eli, I was just joking, and you can have cake if you want!"

I grinned. "So was I. Cake for me!"

"Eli!" she scolded. I laughed.

"C'mon Blue Eyes, I'm a joker at heart," I said and smirked. She smirked back. I laughed.

"What? Why are you laughing?"

"Whenever I smirk, you do it right back, and it's funny. It's like playing Mirror." She laughed.

"You're rubbing off on me Goldsworthy," She said. I grinned.

"I am, am I?" I said, and leaned in close to plant a kiss on her lips. She smiled and pulled me closer. My heart beat quickly and I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

It was so strange; no girl, not even Julia, had ever made me feel this nervous, this happy. Clare Edwards was different; in a short time, she had found her way to my heart and made herself at home. And I didn't mind.

We broke apart and ordered our food, cake for me, and French fries for Clare. We ate in bliss, our hands always linked and sharing bites. I felt like a total dork, but today was different. I was a giddy fool in love under her blue eyed spell.

I had hoped the day would never end, but sadly we had to part after taking a walk in our park. It was so peaceful, so perfect, that it felt as if everything were right. I could pretend I didn't have to go to school on Monday, that I didn't have a stack of homework (ha, homework, that's a good one), and that tomorrow wasn't the anniversary of Julia's death.

When the sun had set and the stars were coming out, I drove her home and returned to my house for a restless night filled with thoughts of Clare and sadly, of Julia.

**Enjoy! Read and review for me **


	4. Chapter Four: Broken Frames

Chapter Four: Broken Frames

And when you say my name  
You get the best of me  
I feel, I can feel  
You won't be leaving anytime soon  
You're sewn into my veins  
I'm left with all the memories  
Behind the broken frames.

I already had a plan for today; I just hoped Clare wouldn't freak out or be mad when I told her about Julia. I didn't want there to be any secrets between us. Well, of course, we all have a few secrets we're not willing to share.

My phone lit up, surprising me.

_So what's on the agenda today?_

I paused before replying to her text. Was I sure? Did I really want to do this?

_It's a surprise. I'll pick you up in an hour._

I sighed after hitting send. I had to tell her. I wanted to tell her.

_Okay _

I ran a hand through my hair and started to get dressed for the day. I put on the usual and headed out to get Morty started. My mom stopped me in the hallway.

"Eli? Are you okay?" Her face was filled with worry. _  
_"I'm fine Mom. I'm going out." I tried to brush past her but she caught me and pulled me into a hug. I stood for a moment, surprised, wrapped in her embrace. I slowly returned the hug. She smiled.

"I'll see you later Honey," she said when she released me. I smiled and nodded.

"Okay, see you later Mom."

I slowly made my way back down the stairs. I wondered if my mom remembered that a year ago today, my life fell apart.

Judging by the sadness in her eyes, I was guessing she did.

I pulled up to the Edwards house a little while later and waited for Clare in Morty. She rushed out the front door and climbed inside.

"Hey," she said, breathless, as she planted a kiss on my cheek, "sorry I was running late."

"Tsk tsk Clare, we're going to have to get you a watch." I said.

She snorted in funny way. "I have a watch."

I smirked. "Does it work?"

She rolled her eyes. "Let's get going. Where are you taking me?"

"Hasn't anyone told you it's no fun to ruin a surprise, Blue Eyes?" I smirked when I realized I had rhymed.

She pouted. "But I want to know."

"Well, you'll just have wait." I said teasingly and held her hand tightly. She smiled and watched outside the window as I drove. The buildings faded away as we drove deeper into the woods. I turned down a narrow row and parked Morty in front of a big gate.

"C'mon Blue Eyes," I said quietly and took her hand again as we walked up to the gate. She looked surprised. "I want you to meet someone."

I knew the path to Julia's grave like the back of my hand. Clare followed close to me, looking confused. I stopped when I reached the tombstone and sat down next to it. Clare sat with me.

"Hey Jules," I said quietly, "I have someone for you to meet."

I took a deep breath. "Her name is Clare, and she's my friend. Well, actually, she's my girlfriend. And don't be jealous, you'll always be my best friend. She's amazing, and I know you'd love her." I laughed a little bit and flicked my eyes nervously to Clare. She smiled at me, and her eyes looked a little misty.

"Julia was my girlfriend and my best friend ever since I was little. Today is the one year anniversary of her death. I just wanted you to know, because I didn't want there to be any secrets between us." I explained this to Clare and held her hand in both of mine. "And I knew she would want to meet you."

Clare was crying now. "Oh Eli…that's so sweet." She wiped away her tears. "How-how did she die?"

I paused for a long time. "I killed her."

Clare gasped. "What?" she practically shouted.

I sighed. "We…we were fighting one night. It was stupid, unnecessary, and it could've been avoided, but I guess we were both in a bad mood that night and just…not thinking. She stormed off on her bike, and well, never made it home."

Clare big blue eyes were filled with sorrow. "What happened Eli?" She said softly.

"I texted her, saying I was sorry, and she must've stopped to read it. She never saw the car coming, and the drunk driver was too wasted to notice." I snarled, feeling the sadness in me start to overflow.

"Oh, Eli.." she murmured and wrapped her arms around me. "It's not your fault."

I felt so vulnerable, so sad, it was impossible to hold it all in. A tear slid down my cheek and Clare kissed it. I smiled and hugged her tight.

"C'mon Blue Eyes, let's get you home." I took her hand as I stood up and turned to Julia's grave. I kissed my fingertips and pressed them to the cool stone. Clare smiled sadly and laced my fingers with hers. We walked the path back to Morty. She kept our fingers intertwined, and when I dropped her off, she gave me a sweet goodbye kiss.

"I'll always be here for you," she whispered in my ear before walking up to her door. I gave her a wave and sighed when she turned away. I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel.

If only I could do the same.

**Aww, writing this made me so sad **** anyway, I hope you guys enjoy and leave me a review telling me what you think!**


	5. Chapter Five: On a Lonely Night

Chapter Five: On a Lonely Night

On a lonely night you will see  
You're everything to me (you got everything)  
On a lonely night oh the truth is  
Every night is lonely without you  
Every night is lonely without you here.

Clare and I returned to school the next day, I reluctantly. The warmth in her eyes when she saw me let me know she still wanted to be with me, no matter what happened in the past. I couldn't describe how good that felt; to have someone love you unconditionally. She was just that type of person, I guess.

I drove to her to school in Morty. We were quiet for the majority of the ride, but the silence was comfortable. I think we both needed some time to think.

We walked into Degrassi sullenly, not wanting to separate for our first few classes. However, we were immediately distracted by the huge banner that screamed "VEGAS NIGHT! BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW!" in our faces.

"Quite the way to advertise," I stated and smirked. She half-smiled.

"Yeah, but I think it looks fun!"

I snorted. "Fun? Clare…school dances are never fun. Besides, they're not really my usual hangout spot."

She sighed in exasperation. "But you've never been to a school dance at Degrassi!"

She had me there. But was there really a difference? School dances are usually all pretty…school dance-ish. Ugh.

"I'm pretty sure they're all the same Blue Eyes."

"Maybe because you've never gone and seen the variety some offer. Degrassi dances are fun!" She tossed my smirk right back at me.

I sighed. "You're not going to stop are you?"

She giggled. "Nope! Not a chance."

I threw my head back it mock surrender. "Fine! We can go to the dance." I better not regret this.

"Yay! We'll have so much fun!" She kissed me quick and slung her bag over her shoulder. "I've got to get to class!" She blew me another kiss and practically skipped down the hall. I couldn't help but snicker at the way people looked at her with surprise as she brushed past them. She was something.

School dragged on for an eternity. I ate lunch with Clare and Adam and spent English in the seat behind Clare. To tell you the truth, I can't even tell you what I did in the other classes. I don't even remember.

But it was all worth it when I got out of class again and saw Clare. I walked out of history to see her with Adam standing in front of her locker. She was whispering something. Adam looked shocked.

"Hey," I said when I reached them. Clare looked up in surprise, her eyes filled with fear and nervousness. "What's going on?"

Adam backed away. "Um, I gotta go, my mom's probably here." He hurried down the hall and out the double doors.

My eyes narrowed. "What happened?"

Clare's eyes flicked back and forth. "Uh, it's nothing really, just exam nerves! Gotta go!" She giggled unconvincingly and started to walk away. I grabbed her elbow.

"Clare," I said slowly, "tell me."

"I'm going to the dance with Fitz!" She blurted out. I dropped her arm seething.

"What?"

"I'm going to the dance with Fitz," she said sadly.

I looked away. "Fitz? Really? I thought we we're going together."

I practically shouted. She was close to tears.

"He said he would end the feud."

Oh, so that's what this was about. Okay so maybe Fitzy and I weren't the best of pals. That doesn't give him any reason to nab my girlfriend!

I shook my head. "I can fight my own battles Clare. Going with Fitz isn't going to change anything.

"Well it looks like your doing a great job of it." She sneered in my face. "Maybe you do need someone else to fight your battles.

_Well it looks like your doing a great job of it._

That was what Julia had said when I told her I wanted to keep us together. My face fell and I looked away to hide it.

"Eli…Eli I'm sorry, just please, I want this to stop."

I sighed. "It's okay…I'm not mad."

"Really?" Her face was hopeful.

"Well maybe a little bit." I wrapped her into a hug to show her I forgave her. "I'll be there anyway to make sure Fitz keeps his hands to himself." I smirked and wrapped my arm around her. "I'll drive you home."

The quiet this time in Morty was almost unbearable. It was stifling, as if something was left unsaid. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Well, besides the whole Fitz-dance thing.

If only I knew how right I was.

**Okay guys, just a little side note, I am going to be doing Vegas Night but the events that occur will be my own (: There might be a few things the same, but most of it will be different. Just wanted to let everyone know! Leave me a review!**


	6. Chapter Six: Mad World

Chapter Six: Mad World

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles its a very, very  
Mad world, mad world.

Tonight was the dance. And the worst part about the whole Fitz fiasco was I would still have to go to the dance, but I wouldn't be with Clare. I mean, I couldn't just let her go without protection. Fitz is a behemoth.

God, I hate school dances.

I was dressed in my idea of a "suit"- a red jacket over a black v-neck and black skinny jeans. When I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, I couldn't help but notice I looked miserable. I still had that bad feeling in my gut, telling me I should crawl into bed and retire early. But no, I was going to go and protect Clare from Fitz. I almost growled at the thought of him touching her, of dancing with her. He didn't deserve someone as perfect as she was. _I_ didn't even deserve her.

I grabbed my keys and jogged down the stairs, tossing a quick goodbye over the shoulder to my mom. I started Morty up and flipped through the radio stations. I weaved through traffic, whistling along to the tune.

The lights from inside Degrassi shone on the parking lot and music could be heard from where Morty sat. I sighed and made my way inside, weaving through the crowd just like the were the traffic I had passed earlier. I was only interested in one thing; and that thing was the angel standing in front of me. I would have knocked her over if I hadn't stopped in my tracks.

"Clare," I breathed. She was utter perfection; from her reddish brown curls to her shimmering blue dress. I wanted to kiss her dizzy.

"Hey Clare, here's your drink." Fitz broke into my thoughts, making me sneer in disgust. "Look who it is," he sneered back. Clare looked at the floor helpless.

"I was just on my way to the punch table." I said with my teeth clenched. "But trust me, I won't be far away for the rest of the night." I brushed him, giving Clare a look of sympathy. She kept her eyes trained on the floor.

I sat at a nearby table and started to gamble, figuring I might as well make the best of tonight. I wouldn't let Fitz ruin my entire night, although he was doing a pretty good job of it already.

I'm not sure how long I played, the only thing I was sure of was that they were no longer in my sight. And that wasn't allowed.

I stood up and rushed out of the room, shoving past people. If he laid a hand on her…

I jogged down the halls, listening, looking, for any sign of my angel. It came from the left; a whimper and an obnoxious snicker.

I turned and saw him down the end of the long hallway. Clare was up against the wall and Fitz was trying to kiss her. Clare kept shoving him away.

_That's my girl._

I ran down towards them and shoved Fitz off of her.

"Get away from her!" I snarled and pulled her towards me.

Fitz grinned. "Your little girlfriend and I were just having fun."

Clare snorted. I was practically shaking with anger.

"Do not ever,_ ever_, touch her." I balled my fists at my sides.

"What are you gonna do?" he mocked.

"This," I said, and my fist connected with his face. Clare gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Fitz staggered back as blood spurted from his nose. He growled deep in his throat and stumbled back towards me.

"That was a mistake tough boy," he said and the unmistakable sound of a blade being unsheathed filled the air. I backed away slowly.

"Fitz, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have punched you. I was being stupid." I put my hands up in surrender. He sneered.

"Sorry isn't going to save you know." I cowered, closing my eyes, and cried out as he struck, waiting to feel the pain in my abdomen. It never came. I opened them again to see my worst fear; the knife protruding from my angel. She gasped and fell to the floor. Fitz backed away in horror, clutching the knife, before running into the darkness.

She jumped in front of me. She sacrificed herself. Why would she do that? Why?

I clutched my stomach and tenderly touched her face.

"Clare, oh Clare…" I whispered. She moaned and pressed on the cut to try and stanch the bleeding. It seemed as if the only thing I could hear was her heartbeat and it slowly pumped. It was my whole life, that heartbeat, and I vowed I would never it stop.

I fumbled with my cell phone, sloppily pressing the three buttons that could save her life.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"Please help me. Please, save her life."

**Ooooh cliffhanger! Haha thanks for reading and leave me a review letting me know what you think about my version! (:**


	7. Chapter Seven: Emergency

Chapter Seven: Emergency

If you thought I'd leave, then you were wrong  
Cause I won't stop holding on.  
This is an emergency  
So are you listening?  
And I can't pretend that I don't see this

The entire ambulance ride was a blur. The flashing siren didn't make a noise to me; the only sound I could hear was her heartbeat, and the thought that it was my fault was the only thing that ran through my mind.

She wouldn't have gone to the dance with Fitz if I hadn't been fighting with him.

She wouldn't have jumped in front of the knife if I hadn't been its target.

She wouldn't be here right now if I had saved her.

It was all my fault, all my fault, all my fault. I killed her. It's a pattern; I fall in love, and end up killing her in the process. How would her family ever forgive me?

She wasn't dead yet, but that beautiful heart beat was slowing. Each thump reverberated in my skull, a terrible echo. It was torturous, watching the life slowly drain out of her.

Knowing that I was the cause, and not being able to do anything about it.

I sat in silence next to the paramedics, clutching her hand for dear life. They pulled up to the hospital and pried me from her. I didn't react, just stared at my empty hand. One of the paramedics led me to the waiting room.

"You can wait for her here, son." He walked backed to the double doors and disappeared inside. I sat in silence, keeping a sort of vigil for Clare. Her parents came with a pretty girl who looked a bit like Clare, her mother sobbing into her hands. I remained still, closing my emerald eyes so I wouldn't have to see the tears fall down a face so much like Clare's.

I'm not sure how many hours I spent staring into space, feeling the guilt wash over me. But eventually the world outside went from dark to light and the doctors came out.

"She's going to be okay."

The sentence spread relief all through me, awakening my sullen spirit. I sat up and listened close.

"The knife just missed her lungs and the wound should heal quickly. You may visit now, but family first and only two at a time." Now they were going to make me wait even longer? I felt my anger rising but fought it back for her sake.

I fell asleep in my chair after calling my mom and telling her where I was and what happened. She had been worried sick when I never returned from the dance.

I was shaken awake by the girl who came with Clare's parents.

"You can go in now," she said softly, "we're leaving."

I stood up immediately. "Thank you," I said and turned towards the doors. "Oh, and if you don't mind me asking, who are you?"

She smiled. "I'm Darcy, Clare's older sister." She left the room and I followed suit, speeding through the double doors.

Darcy…I thought I remembered Clare saying something about her. It felt nice to know that she had family that loved her.

I stepped into Clare's room and shut the door softly behind me. She lay still on the hospital bed, her hair fanning out on the pillow. Her skin was pure white, its rosy sheen gone. I longed to stroke her pale cheek and tell her everything would be okay but I was frozen, rooted to my spot.

Her eyes fluttered open. "Eli?" Her mouth stretched into a smile.

"Hey Blue Eyes," I said sadly. I was the reason she was here. I put her through this. She deserved so much better.

I sat in the chair positioned next to the bed. "I'm so sorry Clare."

"Eli," she said sternly, her smile fading, "I chose to do this. I wanted to save you."

"I didn't need saving. I was doing fine on my own."

Clare snorted. "You call getting stabbed fine?" I shook my head.

"Clare, you don't understand. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you had died. The longer I'm around you, the more likely you are to get hurt. Look at you now; look at what happened to Julia." I linked my hands behind my neck. "I'm so sorry."

She narrowed her eyes. "What are you saying? That us breaking up is going to keep me safe? This is the real world Eli, where anything could happen. I could've gotten hurt even if I had never met you. Beside, I feel safer when I'm with you!" Her eyes were pleading.

"I'm so sorry. You need time alone. I don't want to hurt you anymore." I struggled to keep the tears from falling as I backed towards the doorway.

"Eli…Eli please." Her cheeks were damp and her big blue eyes sad.

"You deserve to be happy."

I jogged away from the room and wiped at my eyes, forming a hard shell around myself and blocking out the sadness. This was for the better; it had to be.

I was such an idiot.

**I'm sorry for breaking them up but I needed to! Don't worry; it'll all work out in the end (: Review!**


	8. Chapter Eight: My Heart

Chapter Eight: My Heart

I am nothing now and it's been so long  
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope  
This time I will be listening.  
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you  
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?  
This heart, it beats, beats for only you

I repeat: I am such an idiot.

How could I have done that? I knew I wouldn't be able to last without her, and I did it anyway.

It was the only way I could protect her.

I'd been thinking too much; I had a massive headache. I had been lying in bed all day for about the entire break. I lied with the lights turned off, thinking and wanting and wishing for her even though I shouldn't.

I groaned and rolled over, wishing for my phone to buzz with a text from her but knowing it wouldn't. It was torture-seeing all these memories that would always just be memories.

I was tired of lying around. I needed someone to talk to, but I already knew what Adam would say to me if I told him. I needed someone to listen to me, but I didn't want to hear anything back. I'm selfish, I know.

I slowly climbed out of bed and made my way out to Morty. I didn't know where I was going, but I couldn't stay still any longer.

I drove groggily down the streets, not really aware of where I was driving, but I knew I needed to get away for awhile. I let Morty lead me along until I hit the brake outside of a familiar gate.

Julia. I slowly walked along the beaten path, running my fingertips along the tombstones until I came to Julia's.

"Hey there Jules," I whispered to her, as if she was actually right in front of me, "did you see my little mess up? I guess I wouldn't call it little; it was kind of a major mess up." I sighed heavily.

"I lost her Jules; I made a mistake, and I lost her. I want to see her so bad, I want to hold her close and beg for her forgiveness. But how can I do that, knowing that one way or another she will get hurt? I'll either break her heart or she'll end up like she did at the dance." I ran a hand through my hair and rested my forehead on my knees. "I am so pathetic."

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

Hey. Park, in 10.

My heart nearly soared out of my chest when I saw her text. This could be my second chance! Unless, she didn't want to give me one. In that case, maybe I should just let her breathe. But I didn't want to.

I am such an indecisive person.

I drove up to "our" park and looked around for a glimpse of her. The cool wind tousled my hair and kept blowing it into my eyes. I cupped a long-fingered hand around my emeralds so I could see and scanned the park. There, on the bench by the old path. She was beautiful, even from afar. I picked up my pace and practically ran to her.

"Eli," she said. "Hello."

"Hi," I said. We stood for a moment, uncomfortable.

"I'm so sorry-"

"I wanted to know if-"

We both spoke at the same time. I gestured to her. "Go ahead."

She sighed. "Well, back at the hospital, you kind of…broke my heart." I grimaced as she kept going. "But I understand why you did it. It's not your fault Eli, it never was. If it's anybodies fault, it's Fitz's." She sighed. "I just…I feel safer when I'm with you Eli, not without you. If only you could get that through your big head." She laughed as she knocked on my head.

I laughed back. "I'm sorry Clare, I really am. I just couldn't bear the thought that I had caused that to happen to you. That time at the hospital…it just felt like the right thing to do." I shrugged my shoulders. "I just didn't want you to get hurt again, Blue Eyes. You mean too much to me." She smiled and a blush crept along her cheeks. "I promise this time, you won't get hurt again. I love you Blue Eyes." I whispered the last part to the ground and didn't meet her eyes.

"What did you say?" She said softly.

"I love you," I said to her face as I stared into her endless eyes. She grinned big and wrapped her arms around me.

"I love you too Eli," she kissed me hard and pulled away. "Wait…this time? So are we for good now? Not just a little fling right?" I grinned.

"I won't leave you alone again Clare."

"Good," she said and laughed. I pulled her close again and smiled into the kiss.

I looked into her eyes as I held her in my embrace. I ducked my head close to her ear and whispered it again.

"I love you."

**Aww, I couldn't not get them back together! :D Thank you for all of your reviews, I loved them ****Leave me another! I'm thinking one more chapter or two, but I think I'm gonna be wrapping it up soon. I'm glad you guys like it!**


	9. Chapter Nine: All I Wanted

Chapter Nine: All I Wanted

I could follow you to the beginning

Just relive the start  
Maybe then we'd remember to slow down  
At all of our favorite parts  
All I wanted was you

We lied on a blanket as the ocean waves crashed around us. Of course, we were on the sand completely dry (you wouldn't see me in a swimsuit) but it was still beautiful, and I was still perfectly cozy with her.

With my arms wrapped firmly against Clare's waist, I could almost feel her heartbeat. It reminded me of the day so long ago, when I almost lost her. I was glad I had her here with me, because the mere thought of that night made me want to hold her, to touch her and make sure she was real.

The wind blew down the beach brushing my hair out of my eyes and tossing her curls everywhere. The sky was overcast, but we didn't care. Let the rain fall! It would be funny watching her scream and laugh as she scrambled to get in the car.

I chuckled under my breath and buried my face in her hair to hide it.

"What's so funny?" she said, half turning around.

I lifted my head. "Nothing," I said innocently.

She narrowed her eyes. 'Eli!" She shoved my chest lightly and I laughed again. "Tell me!" she pleaded.

"I was picturing you running from the rain."

She snorted. "That's it?" I laughed,

"Yes," I said and pulled her back towards me, "Now come here!" I kissed her and she smiled. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, taking in the sweet scent of peppermint that always seemed to linger on her skin. She broke away and leaned her head against my chest, her blue eyes covered by pale eyelids. I looked out to the water and followed the path that each wave took before it crashed down.

"I'm so glad you're here Eli," she said suddenly.

I looked down at her, surprised. "I'm glad you're here too Blue Eyes." She smiled and burrowed her cheek into my dark shirt. Before long, she started to snore.

I started to laugh, and I couldn't stop. I felt so happy; I had to let it out somehow. After a few minutes, I stopped, clutching my sides and wheezing. I fell back onto the blanket and grinned up at the sky.

She made me so happy; her presence was so comforting. I could actually be myself around her. I listened to her, she listened to me. We were the perfect pair.

She stirred awake a little while later and blinked sleepily at me.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Two hours," I said seriously.

"Oh no, really?" She looked apologetic.

"No," I said, "it was only like 20 minutes."

She gasped and slapped my arm. "Why must you do that?"

I grinned. "'Cause you're cute when you're mad."

She laughed. "No!"

"Yes!" I cried back in her tone.

She fell back onto the blanket next to me. Her blue eyes watched me, he face lined with happiness. I looked at her with the same happiness. We mirrored each other, and we stayed that way for a little while before I spoke.

"I love you, forever and always," I whispered.

"I will always love you too," she snuggled up close to me and rested her forehead on my chest. Her eyelashes brushed against my shirt. I stroked her soft hair with my callused hands and hummed softly under my breath. The wind whistled above us and the waves crashed below us. Birds flew far over head, their black silhouettes hovering above us. I felt so safe and happy with her by my side. I felt like anything could happen, and I would always pull through it, as long as I had her.

I knew I should probably be taking her home, but I didn't want to let her go just yet. Things at home for her weren't exactly…great, so I felt like she was safer here. I held her close and kissed her eyelids. I didn't want her to have to be where she was unhappy.

She twisted out of my arms and stood up. "I want to go down by the water."

I sat up but didn't stand. "Have fun." I smirked.

"C'mon Eli, please?"

"I'm good, I'll watch you."

"No. I want you to come with me!"

"Clare," I whined.

"Eli," she whined right back.

I sighed and stood up. "You owe me big time." I rolled up my jeans and left my shoes and blazer on the blanket. She did the same with her jacket and flats. She grabbed my hand and led me to the water. I resisted the urge to groan. "This feels so gross," I said as the sand under the water squished under my feet. She laughed at me. "Hey!" I yelled as I jumped back a bit to avoid a wave. She laughed even harder, clutching her sides just as I had done earlier. I smirked and laughed too. I couldn't help it, her giggle was contagious.

I kissed her and spun her around. A wave soaked us up to our knees and I yelped as I ran up to the shore. She cracked up as she ran after me and we collapsed on the blanket, giddy and soaked. I lied next to her, clutching her hand as we laughed. I wanted this moment to last forever, just me and her together, because, well…

She was all I ever needed.

**And that's it! I hope you guys liked it, leave me some reviews! Sorry I suck at summaries! :/ oh well, I will be posting more stories in the near future! Lots of love and thanks so much for reading!**


	10. Author's Note

**Author's Note-**

**Okay, so I have a question for everyone out there. I want to continue this story, but I am stuck between two choices: writing a separate sequel that takes place maybe a few months or even a year in the future or continuing this story here. I can't decide yet :/ so leave me a review and tell me which one you would prefer! Your opinions matter to me and I love to hear from you! (: -Amity **


	11. Chapter Ten: Baby Blue Eyes

Chapter Ten: Baby Blue Eyes

Baby, baby blue eyes,  
Stay with me by my side;  
'Til the mornin', through the night.  
Well baby stand here, holdin' my sides,  
Close your baby blue eyes;  
Every moment feels right.  
And I may feel like a fool,  
But I'm the only one, dancin' with you.

My life followed a very specific schedule: Clare. All the time.

Or, at least, that was all I was able to think about. To have her by my side again was the greatest feeling in the world.

Too bad we weren't able to show it anymore, according to Degrassi's brand new list of rules. They made me gag. I mean really, how can you totally change this school? I had a feeling this was going to end badly. It was already starting off on the wrong foot, or at least with me it was.

I drove Clare to school the second week back from our break. I hadn't been to school yet; I was suspended the first week. I was tense and quiet, anticipating the worst. Nothing this severe had ever been done to the school, or at least that I knew of.

I pulled Morty into a vacant parking space and climbed out, dressed in my usual attire. I wasn't going to change who I was for school. Wasn't learning for half of my day enough already?

Clare followed as she tugged at the hem of her navy shirt; an anxious looked in her eyes. I took her hand to comfort her.

"Eli, Simpson might see!" She whispered, looking down at our linked hands.

"I don't care. I'll show how much I love you whenever I want." I said rebelliously and she blushed.

"Mr. Goldsworthy, I think you better lose that attitude before heading into class." Principal Simpson walked past us. "There are some big changes here, and PDA is a major N-O. And where's your uniform young man?" He shook his head and kept walking as I stared daggers at his back. I felt anger rise up in me and Clare instinctively put her hand on my arm, holding me back.

"Stop. I don't want us to get in anymore trouble." Her eyes were pleading. I sighed.

"I'm not going to do anything." She let go reluctantly and we started to walk up to the doors.

I could tell something was wrong even before we got through the doors. There was a large crowd in front of the lockers and security officers were scanning the tags that hung from our necks.

I sneered and wrapped the string from my tag around my finger. "I feel like an animal being herded."

She grimaced. "Same here. I don't like it." We made our way through the crowd and got scanned. We walked to our classes cautiously as burly guards glared at us. It made the whole process uncomfortable.

In English I took my seat behind Clare again and leaned back in my chair. The class dragged on and I neglected to take notes. Oh well.

I twisted one of Clare's curls around my finger and she jumped in her chair. I chuckled. She turned around when no one was looking.

"What are doing?" Her cheeks were pink and the corners of her mouth hinted at a smile. I wanted to kiss her so badly right then.

"Playing with my girlfriend's hair," I said with a mischievous smile as I tugged on the curl. She giggled.

"Clare. Eli," called Ms. Dawes' stern voice at the front of the room. Clare spun around as her cheeks blushed crimson. I sighed and resumed twisting her curls around my finger until the bell rang.

I drove Clare home after school that day, but when I pulled up to her house, she looked puzzled and didn't get out of the car.

"What's wrong?" I said.

"My parents aren't home," her confusion began to fade. "Oh well." She grinned at me. "Want to do something?"

"What do you have in mind, Blue Eyes?" I said, returning her grin.

"Hmm…let's go get something to eat."

"The Dot?" I asked, putting the car into gear.

"No…I want a change. Pick a random place!" She laughed and I smirked at her carefree attitude.

"Random it is," I said as I sped off. "As long as you pay." She slapped my arm playfully and giggled.

We pulled up to a Mexican restaurant and I grabbed us a table. The server came over to get our order.

"Hmm…" she said as she looked over the menu. "A taco and rice please." Clare handed the woman her menu as she turned to me.

"How about…nachos," I said and handed her my menu. The woman walked away with a bored expression on her face. I raised my eyebrows at Clare and she giggled.

"She sure looked happy to see us." I said and made the same expression that the server had. Clare laughed loudly and slapped a hand over her mouth as I grinned. She giggled through her fingers and took her other had, intertwining our fingers. She grinned and stared at our hands.

"So boyfriend, what do you want to talk about?" She rested our hands on the table and looked into my eyes.

"Hmm…well tell me about your day first." She smiled.

"It was good now that you're back. Helps me cope with this miserable school," I grinned at her. The waitress came over and set our food down. I ate greedily as Clare laughed.

"Don't slow down Eli, you might actually have to chew."

"Ha-ha." I said sarcastically. "I'm starving, I didn't have lunch."

"Why not?"

"I wasn't in an eating mood."

"HA. Eli not in an 'eating mood'. That's a good one." She laughed and I smirked.

"I was just feeling a little sick."

"Are you okay now?" Concern showed through her laughter.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good. Don't get sick on me Goldsworthy."

"Who knows? Maybe I could actually have a horrible disease. And you know what comes with diseases Blue Eyes?"

"What?" I smirked mischievously.

"Germs!" I kissed her smack on the mouth and she squealed. I laughed and she smacked me on the arm, but leaned in for another kiss anyway. She grinned and clutched my hand even tighter.

We broke apart and talked some more as darkness settled outside. But we were blind to the world around us, lost in each others company.

**Here's number 10! Hope you enjoy! Leave me a review (:**

**Okay, I decided I will probably end this story around Chapter 15 and then write a sequel. What do you guys think? **


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